Knowing Him,  Marriage

13 Powerful Qualities for a Long Lasting Marriage

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Can you guess, what is the strongest predictor of having a healthier life?

Most people’s answer would be something related to taking care of our eating habits or doing exercise. But interestingly a study which has been going on for 80 years in Harvard University has been showing that the strongest predictor of a healthier life lies in your relationships.

The researchers found out that marital satisfaction has a profound effect on people’s mental health. The study further revealed that the quality of the relationships matters the most.

It’s amazing, isn’t it?

When I came to know about this study I did a little research myself with my family, friends and acquaintances. I have realized that people who have better marital relationships are:

  • Happier in general.
  • Better equipped to face any problem, be that in their work, health or within their close family circle.

To have a long lasting happy marriage a couple needs to work hard towards the relationship. The couple needs to make their relationship a priority. A connection between husband and wife,  at a deeper level is the true essence of a strong and healthy marriage.

In my view, if a couple works on the following 13 qualities they will definitely have a happier and healthier marriage.

  1. Be Loyal

Loyalty is the number one trait for any relationship. If any one partner is not loyal to the other the relationship is bound for disaster sooner or later. If loyalty is missing from a marriage then marriage is just an agreement on paper.

  1. Be Truthful/Honest

Being in a marriage is all about being transparent and honest with each other. In order to be honest both the partners need to be truthful. A lie can be a minor thing for one partner but it can be big deal for the other one. Secondly to hide one lie one needs to tell many more lies. On the other hand a truth might bring a bad reaction in the short term but it will always strengthen trust in the longer run.

  1. Be Respectful

Mutual respect takes your marriage to the next level. Love without respect is not love at all. Always be respectful and demand respect in return.

  1. Show Appreciation

Showing appreciation is a key in any relationship. From kids to adults everybody wants to please their loved ones. By appreciating your spouse you show him/her that you noticed the effort and it meant something to you. The more you appreciate your spouse the more they will work to please you.

  1. Be Attentive

In today’s world of distractions paying attention to your spouse is very important. While talking to your husband/wife put the phone down, turn off the TV or any other distraction and pay full attention. By doing so not only you will show your spouse that he/she is important, you will also know more about each other.

  1. Make Your Communication Better (Don’t Assume; Ask/Say)

Whatever you want or expect always state it clearly and categorically. The assumption that the other person knows or should know a certain demand of yours is unrealistic. If you don’t like something simply say it and if you want something, again simply say it. This takes the additional burden off your partner and yourself, as a result the relationship flourishes.

  1. Fulfilling Each other’s Needs

Any relationship which intends to last a lifetime must fulfill both the partners. When both of you have clearly communicated your desires and needs then it’s the duty of both the partners to fulfill each other’s needs. The more you know each other the more you are able make each other happy as a result quality of your marriage keeps on improving.

  1. Forgive Easily

To err is human therefore for long term health of your relationship forgiveness is essential. Your partner will make mistakes which will offend you and hurt you but if you can forgive easily it will take your relationship to another level.

  1. Cover Each other’s Shortcomings

Don’t discuss your spouse’s shortcomings with your friends and family. You will like your husband/wife to do this for you as well. For the health of your relationship it’s essential for you two to cover each other’s mistakes and shortcomings. Instead of bringing outsiders in your relationship you two need to work together to eliminate those shortcomings.

  1. Be Kind

Always be kind with your husband/wife. Deal them as you would deal your best friend. Be kind with your words and actions. Kindness and thoughtfulness will go a long way in making your marriage happy and fulfilling.

  1. Show Affection

After sometime in our marriages we tend to forget that we need to show our love to our spouses. The best way to show that you love your husband/wife is by being affectionate towards them in every possible way. The more you know your spouse the more you will know how he/she wants your affection. You don’t necessarily need to do some thing fancy little gestures of affection, in our day to day activities, like a warm smile or embrace or a simple text message can do the trick.

  1. Be Trustworthy

You have to earn trust in any relationship. Trust cannot be built overnight. It always builds up in steps, one step at a time. You need to be trustworthy so that your husband/wife can trust you with their vulnerabilities.

  1. Learn To Compromise

To build a strong marriage needs hard work and sacrifice. No matter how ideal a marriage is there will be times when we need to compromise to find a common ground. The ability to compromise is a symbol of strength not weakness. It shows that you are willing to leave behind your ego in order to strengthen your marriage.


Marriage is a partnership which needs efforts and loving sacrifices of your egos and rigid behaviors to flourish to its full potential. With the right intention and persistent conscious effort anyone can improve this relationship and increase the probability of better heath and better life.

What do you think about the aforementioned qualities? Would you like to add anything to the list? Give your opinion in the comment section.


The Harvard Gazette







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  • Mazhar Satti

    Relationships are precious rather priceless and we are nothing without those. All the creatures carry and respect relationships; humans, being best of creatures must display best in relationships too.
    Good relationships are real source of happiness and health, well who can deny this fact; its an absolute reality. Relationships are power houses, i would say, we get strength and energy from like nothing else in this mortal world. Relationships keep us together, give us strength and keep us going when the going gets tough.
    Happy marriages produce heavens on earth i have no doubt there. This magic relationship is the sweetest and second to none.
    Thanks for sharing some great ideas to enjoy relationships and keep them tight. Good luck.

  • Mariam Raza

    Interesting choice of the topic once again, Seemab dear…all the points you mentioned are noteworthy …am a big fan of pt#6 ‘Don’t Assume’
    When we ‘assume’ we make an ‘ass’ of ‘u’ & ‘me’…
    Kudos SZ
    Keep writing & sharing ..

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