Marriage,  Marriage Challenges

How to Prioritize Your Marriage After Having Kids

Early on in your marriage especially when there are no kids in the picture your marriage is pretty much the center of your attention. Later on, when kids come into the picture parenting becomes the number one priority for the couple and both the husband and the wife tend to take their marriage for granted and let it go into the background. But the thing is having a healthy married life is essential not only for the relationship of the couple but also for their roles as parents.

It is research proven that the secret to a healthy and happy life lies in your healthy and strong love relationships. In order to make your marriage strong and healthy, you need to INTENTIONALLY prioritize it. The following steps are helpful to prioritize your marriage after having kids.

How To Prioritize your marriage after having kids

  1. Give Importance to Your Spouse

The first and foremost steps to prioritize your marriage after having kids is to intentionally give importance to your spouse. Make an intentional effort to give your husband or wife the number one spot when it comes to your attention and approval.

Intentionally pay attention to your spouse. Appreciating the little things your spouse does help a lot in showing him or her that they matter.

Feeling seen and heard is a very basic human need and this need is Mani-folded when you are in a love relationship like marriage. Listen to what your husband or wife has to say, know their likes and dislikes and intentionally try to make them happy.

  1. Give Priority to Your Needs as a Couple

You are a husband or a wife before you are a dad or a mom and your needs as a husband or a wife must be fulfilled first to give you the sense of connection and togetherness as a couple.  This sense of connection and togetherness will help you not only in your relationship as a couple but also in your roles as parents.

Giving priority to fulfill the emotional and physical needs of each other as a couple is the cornerstone of the health, strength, and longevity of your marriage. So before prioritizing the needs of your kids prioritize the needs of your spouse.

Ask your spouse questions to know them better and when you know better, do better in the light of your new knowledge.

If your husband or wife has any grievances address them on a priority basis. You must show through your words and actions that you are giving priority to your spouse.

Similarly, convey your own needs, likes and dislikes to your spouse. Do not assume that your husband or wife will read your mind. Tell your spouse exactly what you want so that they know exactly how to please you.

  1. Make it a Priority to Spend Some Time Together Daily

We all know that parenthood needs a ton of time. When all your time is sucked up by the little humans in your life it becomes easy to feel disconnected as a couple. In order to know each other better and to reignite that emotional connection you guys once had you, just two of you, must spend some time together.

Having an uninterrupted chat for even thirty minutes daily is enough to give you the sense of togetherness you need. You might share an activity like going on a walk or even doing a household chore together. The activity itself is not important the important thing is that you spend some time together.


Parenthood is hard and it takes a lot of time and attention. When a couple is busy with the little humans in their life their marriage goes to the back seat in terms of priority. This might yield feelings of dissatisfaction, disconnection and overall unhappiness in one or both the partners. For the sake of your long-term well-being, you must invest time and energy to prioritize your marriage.

In order to prioritize your marriage after having kids, you must make intentional efforts. Giving importance to your spouse is the first step in prioritizing your marriage. Similarly prioritizing your needs as a couple before your kids’ needs help in not only improving your married life but also your parenthood. Last but not least you must spend some time preferably daily with your spouse to feel connected in your marriage.

Related Article:

How to restore emotional connection in marriage after having kids

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