Disagreements in parenting is a common problem which parents face all over the world. If you and your spouse have different parenting styles then parenting your kids can easily become a battlefield. For the sake of your relationship with your spouse, successful upbringing of your kids and your relationship with your kids both the parents must be on the same page for parenting.
Before we discuss how to be on the same page for parenting let’s look into a few aspects of your parenting differences with your spouse.
Things To Remember
You might be annoyed with your husband or wife over parenting differences but you must remember a few things.
Your Spouse Has Genuine Reasons For Their Style of Parenting
For you, your spouse’s parenting style might be totally illogical and uncalled for but your spouse will have genuine reasons for their preferred parenting style. Your spouse might be raised differently than you and they might think that as they turned out OK so will be their kids. Unless you understand the reasons behind your spouse’s point of view you won’t be able to address the issue properly.
Like You, Your Spouse Also Wants The Best For Your Kids
You must remember the fact that your husband or wife is advocating for a different approach for parenting, not because of any malice or insincerity towards you or your child. Your spouse is also a parent like you and as per their knowledge, their parenting style is the best for their kids.
Your Spouse Might Be Right
This one is a difficult one to digest, isn’t it? It is very much possible that your spouse is right and it’s you, and not your spouse, who needs to change their parenting style. So you need to approach the differences with an open mind so that both of you can agree on something which is best for you two and your kids.
How To Be on The Same Page For Parenting
The following few steps help a lot to sort out parenting differences and be on the same page for parenting.
Communicate Your Point Of View Clearly
Like almost anything else in a love relationship like marriage, your success in the resolution of your differences will depend upon the quality of the communication between you two. Both of you must communicate your point of view with respect and kindness without making any assumptions.
You might start your discussion by saying something like, “I know you want the best for our child but I think we…” Starting the discussion on a positive note will help you to not put your spouse in a defensive mode.
Once both of you have communicated your point of views clearly then next step would be to arrive at a point of mutual consensus. If you feel strongly about a certain thing then you should tell your spouse about that and ask them to support you on that particular thing.
Be a Team & Act Like a Team
In no circumstance, you are to criticize your partner’s parenting style in front of your kids. Both of you are a team, be a team and act like a team. Don’t have parenting discussions in front of your kids. Kids sense the differences between their parents soon. Once they know that you will not act like a team they can very easily find loopholes to mold house rules in their favor. If one parent is not permitting something they will ask the other one and vice versa.
Focus On Your Collective Goal
Once your parenting differences grow they can easily trigger other marital differences. Both of you must remember that your collective goal is to raise successful, disciplined, well-adjusted and happy kids while maintaining a healthy marital relationship. Your relationship with your spouse is superior to your parenting differences and in no instance should your parenting difference become your personal differences.
Take Professional Help
If you are unable to resolve your parenting differences and coming on the same page for parenting is becoming more and more difficult then you should definitely seek professional help. Besides your parenting differences either one of you or both of you might have emotional issues, mental health issues or relationship issues which need to be sorted for the health of your marriage and effective parenting.
Parenting differences are a reality and for the sake of your relationship with your spouse, successful parenting and your relationship with your kids you must be on the same page for parenting. In order to parent from a mutual ground, you need to communicate your point of view effectively, act like a team and focus on the collective goal of succeeding as a couple and as parents. If you are unable to sort out your parenting differences then you must seek professional help.